Growing Up and Feeling Less Joy: Finding Purpose Beyond Anxiety
The Quote That Hit Me Hard
I was listening to a sermon from Pastor Mike Jr., and he mentioned the movie Inside Out, specifically the character Joy. This led me to revisit Inside Out 2, and during my second viewing, a particular quote stood out: “I don't know how to stop anxiety. Maybe that's what happens when you grow up, you feel less joy.”
When I heard this quote, emotions flooded in. As someone who experiences anxiety, especially during the colder seasons, I recognize how difficult it can be to identify joy even when I know what brings me joy. The thoughts that come with anxiety often mask the joy I know to be true for me. And of course, the older I get, the more frequently these experiences arise. The quote made this reality tangible, forcing me to consider—what truth does this quote hold, if any?
The Shift from Childhood Joy to Adult Anxiety
Reflecting on childhood, joy was simple and effortless. It came from role-playing the person I aspired to be, spending time with my grandparents, going on vacations—especially to Disney. Youthfulness in any form brought me joy, and even now, Disney reminds me of the child within me and the joy that still exists in my adult years.
However, adulthood brought a shift. Anxiety began to replace joy after the passing of my paternal grandmother, Geraldine Dixon, in 2013. Her death rocked me to my core. It took six months for me to realize that I was still alive. That was the first time I experienced seasonal depression, and I didn’t cope well. I buried myself in my career, neglecting relationship-building, which led people to perceive me as someone who was always busy. The loneliness that followed lasted for years.
Societal expectations, responsibilities, and pressures compound this shift, making it seem like joy is something we grow out of rather than something we evolve with.
Why Growing Up Doesn’t Have to Mean Losing Joy
Anxiety is a natural part of adulthood, but joy doesn’t have to disappear. Through therapy—especially during the pandemic—I embarked on a self-awareness journey that led me to peace and joy.
One pivotal moment came when I was led (as a faith believer) to read the last twelve books of the Old Testament—Hosea through Malachi. These books, often overlooked, provided clarity in ways I never expected. They revealed patterns of restoration, discipline, and divine purpose.
Hosea taught me about unwavering love and redemption, even in seasons where joy felt distant.
Joel and Amos reminded me that justice and purpose are intertwined, showing me how alignment with my values can bring lasting joy.
Habakkuk was especially profound, teaching me about faith amidst uncertainty—how to trust the process even when anxiety looms.
Malachi, the final book, resonated deeply with its message of refinement and renewal, reinforcing that joy is not about circumstances but about perspective and faith.
These books showed me that joy and anxiety are not mutually exclusive. They can coexist, but purpose acts as the bridge between them.
Living with Purpose as the Path to Joy
Living purposefully means aligning with what truly matters, rather than being consumed by fear or external expectations.
For me, finding clarity in my purpose helped me navigate anxiety. Purpose grounded me when external pressures felt overwhelming. The moment I embraced that my journey was divinely guided—not solely in my control—I found a deeper sense of joy.
Practical ways to align with purpose and cultivate joy:
Mindfulness & Presence: Focusing on fulfillment rather than fear.
Gratitude & Reflection: Acknowledging small joys daily.
Community & Relationships: Building meaningful connections that balance anxiety with support.
Conclusion: Embracing the Complexity of Growing Up
Growing up doesn’t mean feeling less joy; it just means experiencing it differently. Anxiety may be present, but joy is still attainable when we prioritize purpose and self-awareness.
So, I ask you: How will you make space for joy, even in the midst of anxiety?
